Too often, parents’ reminders to their teens and emerging adults are met with eye rolls, exasperated sighs, and frustration. If you keep these five things in mind, you’re more likely to keep your positive relationship with your child intact… even while giving those necessary reminders!
- Keep it Balanced. Too often, the entire parent-child relationship turns into just a series of reminders, conversations about how things can go better, and other not so pleasant stuff. My teen and emerging adult clients often lament the loss of a positive and supportive relationship with their parents. So be sure that to balance all of those reminders with positive interactions– just hanging out, chatting about whatever, and celebrating their wins.
- Pick Your Battles. There are so many important things you don’t want to slip through the cracks. Chance are, though, if you remind your child about each and every one, your child will become very annoyed or angry. Instead, be intentional about what you decide to remind your teen or emerging adult.
- Ask Permission. The easiest way to get your reminders graciously accepted? Asking for permission or offering the help (and having it accepted) ahead of time, before giving the reminder. No one enjoys having reminders forced upon them. That’s when things start feeling like nagging or micromanaging, not helping or supporting.
- Do a Gut Check. Many times, it’s our own “stuff” that compels us to want to give reminders to our teens or emerging adults. If your own anxiety or fears are the driving force, you’re better off hanging back. Give your teen or emerging adult the opportunity to either rise to the occasion or learn from the natural consequences.
- Stay Neutral. Give your reminders in a calm, neutral way. If you approach your child with frustration, annoyance, or anger, that will be the thing your child will most likely react to. Your message will get lost.
Need support transitioning your child to full-fledged adulthood? Contact Dr. Crystal I. Lee for a free 20 minute consultation to see how she can help.